Surrender

 

Of the many themes and images that break out of the book of Acts, the most memorable might be where we find ourselves today as we enter Acts chapter 9. 

The church has been scattered and dispersed. The work has begun. The church is growing and becoming what Jesus intended this movement of fishermen and tax collectors who dropped everything and followed. Everyone needs a unique moment they can call their own when it comes to discovering Jesus. Peter and Andrew have their own. John and James have intereacted with Jesus and have stories to share. All of the twelve have something in one way or another that they could say about their relationship and experience with the Messiah. What's it like to be walking down the road one minute and next be flat on your back looking up? To be completely overwhelmed by the call and plea coming from heaven? One man would know that. While many could draw some similar thought about Jesus coming into their lives only one man can say that Jesus actually blinded him and through the light on so bright that he couldn't see. 

Lets venture in and see what's going on...

Its passages like this that we as the readers cannot help but put ourselves into the lines and wonder about Jesus approaching us in some personal way. For many, we want to read our own experience into the page and talk about how Jesus got through to us. We all need forgiveness. We all have been more than a little hard headed. Many of us get side tracked thinking we are doing the right thing when in fact we aren't doing anything good at all. How many of us could put ourselves in the shoes of Saul/Paul? Don't be afraid to make the comparisons and parallels. Don't be afraid to see yourself in the discourse. This is how God works. This is how he gets through to us. The real question becomes, "Do we want to have a break through, a closeness with the Almighty? Or, are we comfortable and fine where we are?" 

The truth is that people who can put themselves in the shoes of Saul find a similarity in thier experience. They didn't know they needed anything. A change. An interruption. Somethng to step in and say "Whoa!" People who see that they have a parallel with Saul don't know that they need to stop and listen. They are just trekking rigt on down the orad with a mission on their mind and a goal to be reached. They really feel like they were doing the right thing all along. The Jesus steps in. Funny how that happens. Morgan Whalen, one of the current bad boys in country music has a song from a recent album titled "Don't Think Jesus". He references his own life in a third person sort of way. Whalen brings to light that there were many moments in life where the idea was made clear that Jesus probably wouldn't have done things the way he had done them. The forgiveness that's been extended. The mercy considered. If it had been up to the wild boy in the lines of the song, he would have never done things the way Jesus did. 

If I was Him, I'd say, "To hell with you, ain't no helping you"
"Find someone else to give Heaven to, I'm telling you"
I'd shame me, I'd blame me
I'd make me pay for my mistakes
But I don't think Jesus does it that way

Saul of all people would know what it means to feel that shame. In a triumphant second he is trampling along the Damascus Road thinking he intends to do God's will by taking out these people who are part of "The Way". The next, he is on the ground, blinded by a light from heaven and being told that what he has been doing is not the right thing at all. As we enter verse two of Morgan Whalen's song, he turns the problem around and suggest that Jesus, himself, could have done things a different way. That's when we find that Jesus truly has a singular cause. To get through to us. 

Boy's all alone, got no one to turn to
He figures he'll pray, 'cause what else could he do?
He said, "I wish You would've woke me up an easier way"
But I don't think Jesus does it that way

I know from personal experience and I know from hearing the words of others who have entered this life that Jesus had to get through to many of us with some time, grace and providential features in order for us tough skinned know-it-all people to finally listen and take notice.

What is it that we are taking notice of? If we had been paying attention through the Gospels into the Acts narrative, everyone who came in touch with Jesus felt it in their soul. When our sinful selves come into contact with the Lord and Savior, the rest is history. Only the cold and calloused in heart would skip past the meeting of Jesus Christ and think it meant nothing. And, many of the religious through out the gospel story do just that. Saul happens to be one who has a mind and heart for doing what was righteous. It's not just a set of rules he thinks he is upholding. Seeking out the righteous and the holy in anything involves some heart felt devotion. "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all this will be added unto you." Is that intention a part of Saul's inner quandary as he seeks to be doing the right thing in God's eyes? It wouldn't be the first time in human history that someone thought they were doing God's will in taking the life of another person. Examples of religious terrorism have been with us since the dawn of man when Cain took Abel's life. Some say Cain was jealous of Abel's offering. Other examples show that people just get an idea in their heads that there is only one way to resolve the problem, Those peoples lives need to end. Whether it's the crazy notion to run some planes into some towers to get their point across or running a whole army across continents to possess a land believed to be holy, people will do unspeakable things in the name of their religious beliefs. 

The narrative here in Acts says that Saul thought he was doing the right thing. Maybe that is why Jesus is able to get through to him and Saul does not simply dismiss it. He has a sensitivity of heart and wants to be led by God. And, God speaks. A light so bright that it blinds the young Pharisee and leaves him paralyzed with fear. God can speak through tragedy. The taking of a life or the taking of ones health and well being.  Whatever God has to do to get the attention of the person he seeks. Have you ever felt that? Have you ever known what its like for God to reach out to you? Has God ever tried to get your attention? Have you been listening? Some seek God and, for some, God seeks them. Many talk about inviting Jesus into their hearts and lives and, for many, God came and invaded. For the first group, there was a drawing, a leading that brought them to the decision to turn their lives over. For the latter, it is as if God spoke and said, "You belong to me." There was no decision to be made. God decided and that was the end of the story. 

Maybe that's what is going on here with a young man named Saul .God says, "You are mine."
It is what leads the renamed Paul to speaks so directly to matters like election and grace. God drew him in. God called and elected him and Saul really didn't have much say in it. He simply receives what God has placed upon him. Can you put yourself in similar shoes? Does anything about the way God spoke to Saul resonate with you? Is there a voice speaking to you this morning suggest that you need to stop and listen?

Open my eyes that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free.

 

Silently now I wait for Thee,
Ready, my God, Thy will to see;
Open my eyes, illumine me,
    Spirit Divine!